Altered
A downloadable game for Windows, Linux, and Android
Our main protagonist was abducted at a very young age, 18 years later he returns to reunite with certain people. However, he is not only returning with a mysterious new look, but also with a woman named Saeko. Find out about what happened to them during his abduction and what new events await them in the present.
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Development log
- Hello!12 days ago
Comments
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This isn't a bad start, the major flaw I see is you need to proofread your work a lot. in visual novels the thing that players will interact with the most is the writing, so you need to double and triple check to make sure it's done well so maybe run it through a word doc before putting it in. I noticed some place where there needed to be a space and when first meets the twins, Saeko will refer to the main character as Jay even if you change his name. I suggest in future projects try to keep the cast a bit more down since it's hard to keep track of who is who when you have ten people introduced in a short time. I'll check out Dreams of Desire and Deadmoon but when it comes to visual novels the ones that stick in my head is Tales from the Unending Void by preverteer and Ravager by 4minutewarning.
Hey, I had a critique: I don't recommend allowing the player to set the relationships for characters without really specific information because we don't know who these people will be in your storyline later.
Just saying that someone is "really special to you" isn't enough for determining who they are in relation to the main character. I don't know if they will have dialog later explicitly describing their relationship together or not. I don't know their ages compared to the main character, I don't even know if I live with them or if they are strangers in the intro to the game.
I started reading the actual plot parts of the game and then realized that all my prior choices were wrong because I didn't have any context. Now the dialog is confusing because it turns out that I was naming my parents. I hope I explained this properly. I basically had to restart the game by scrolling back and redoing all of it.
If you have a certain idea in mind like family-related content or something, put that as the default and then have the player decide if they don't like that or not. Then they can change it to their own preference (like renaming mom to landlord, sisters as other tenants, etc. This is similar to how other games handle it).
Anyways, sorry for throwing some criticism at you right away. I'm liking the overall product so far. It's writing can be a bit clumsy here and there, but it's forgivable since it's your first project.
Also, just curious, what 3D program or assets are you using for your scenes?
Thanks I appreciate any kind of genuine criticisms, I apologize for the confusion with the relationship labeling. I will do my best to address this in the next update.
edit- I use Daz 3d studio
edit2- The M.C was kidnapped at the same time the twins were born, so they are both 18. Saeko is only year younger then the M.C. I assure you all characters will never be underage (All of the current female character are all 18 or above), and if any do pop up I will give notice they are underage and they will not have any adult content.
ah thanks for the response. I appreciate your hard work.
What kind of future tags can we expect? Harem? ntr/sharing? Pregnancy? Futa?
Edit* And just to be clear I'm asking the dev what they have planned not what I want.
The only one I can confirm at the moment is Harem, and a very big maybe to pregnancy towards the end of the story. Honestly I don't judge people kinks(You know whatever floats your boat), but NTR as in they M.C getting cucked I won't be doing that (Maybe the other way around M.C cucking someone).Futa don't think I will at the moment, but I wouldn't be against a female using a strap-on on another female. I'll try to have some variety in options in adult scenes, but I do want the scenes to feel like they happen naturally.
Awesome.👍